Monday, October 22, 2007

Back-handed Compliments

So, I must say that I have all these great things are happening in my life right now. I'm experiencing some success in my weight loss crusade. I'm not dieting, I'm changing my lifestyle. It's all about creating different eating and exercise habits. Thus far I am quite pleased with my progress, but I have to remind myself to stay the course, because this will be a long journey, not a sprint to the finish.

It's funny the things that people say when they notice you're shedding the lbs. I have to say my parents have been great cheerleaders, as have my friends and a few co-workers. For anyone out there who has tried to lose a significant amount of weight, they will tell you, nothing makes us feel better than for someone to notice our transformation. This is especially true for me, because I have a horrible perception of myself...always have. I don't suppose I've ever liked looking at my reflection in the mirror and I do it only when necessary. For most of my life, I have not been happy with my body, but I have mastered the ability to compartmentalize those thoughts, to a certain extent. Rarely will you hear me talking about my insecurities when it comes to my body or how I look. Trust me, I have more than my share, but I keep it bottled up, mainly for self preservation. It's been a struggle to talk about this chapter in my life, because I'm afraid of jinxing myself, but I DO talk about it, I make myself. I basically see this as a project. I'm rewiring my brain to think different, because I really think this too is necessary to reach my goals.

Ok, so that all sounds so serious. I mean, it's true but it's not all that dramatic. It is great though to hear people's compliments and observations about your progress, especially when they come from such stories as this...

This weekend I went at my parents and when I came in the house, mom was in the office printing out a picture. I go in there and ask what she's doing...dad said she's obsessed with printing pictures, she does it all the time. So I look down at this particular one and see this profile picture of some random woman with a weird looking neck.
"What's this?"

"Well this is a picture of a woman with this disease I thought you might have."

Ok, I'll bite...

The disease in question by the way is Cushing's Disease. Please take a moment and click on the link and pull up the picture labeled "buffalo hump." Mom realizes I'm puzzled by this as I read up on the symptoms. What exactly led you to this conclusion mom? She proceeds to tell me she was watching Discovery Health and they did a show on this disease and the neck example caught her eye.
Upon further inspection of my neck she is happy to tell me "I think you're fine. You used to have a big neck but it's getting smaller."
Good to know the weight loss is hitting those crucial areas, including the neck. Nothing worse than a fat neck.
*On a side note, does anyone know if they make the V-Chip for parents? If so, I would like to get a tv for my mom with one and program it to block any channel with the word "Discovery" in the title. Not only is mom a medical expert, but she's also a forensic specialist and the 2nd Dog Whisperer. I cannot tell you how funny it is to see her with their dog, who is dumber than a bag of hair (purebred), doing that "Shh-ing" thing Cesar does on the show.*

Later on in the weekend mom and I dragged my grandma out of the house to get some fresh air, have a little lunch and do some shopping. I was on a mission to get some shoes. My genes have blessed me with ski's for feet, so shopping for shoes is not much fun, which pisses me off because I already hate shopping for clothes, and to add insult to injury only myself and drag queens wear my size shoe (11). Seriously, when I lived in Athens I would see a lot of men in my aisle at Payless around the time for Boyboutante Ball.
Well to my delight, Rack-Room shoes had just what I was looking for, and they were on sale! Pleased with my discovery, I go to the register to pay, and the cashier, who I assume thought she was making pleasant afternoon chatter with me, says "You're lucky you found these. Girls with big feet like you have a hard time finding shoes. Oh and it's worse for you with those wide feet."
Seriously? You're saying this to me? I was dumbfounded. I said nothing, took out my card and handed it over. Me and my big ass clown feet had other places to go. It really is funny, because I can laugh at myself, but come on, did you think that sounded good in your head? The shoes in question are here. I would also like to point out that I do not have fat feet, the bones in my feet are spread way the hell out and I come from a long line of big footed Duggins's. My brother wears a men's size 16.

That about sums it up for now. Me and my slightly less-fat neck and huge feet are tired and need to go to bed!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Blah Blah Blog

I ask this in all seriousness. Is there a nice way to tell someone you do not want to talk to them anymore? Not to sound harsh but, you know a let's-face-it-we've-grown-apart-or-more-to-the-point-I've-grown-away-from-you? Not possible? Yeah, I didn't think so.

So Amber, Lesley and Jenny seem to think it's appropriate for women our age to watch 'The Hills.' I scoffed at the notion when we discussed this at Outback the other night. I was flipping channels one night after that and came across it, tried to watch, and kept cringing. It's not real! It's so awkward. The dark haired horse teeth girl that the main one lives with...good grief she's painful to watch. Sorry ladies, had to keep surfing past that.

Discussed...sounds so grown up, which we all are not. We were so loud at dinner the other night that the people around us sighed out loud in relief when we left, which of course we took as a compliment. That's one of the great things about us, and I love it. I love that Amber and I will pun anything to death and think it's hysterical. I love that things we did 10-15 years ago are still brought up in order to ridicule each other, but in a loving way of course.

Is it a sign of getting older when you purchase a "Finishing Touch" facial trimmer? Being blessed with blond hair I have never had to worry about bleaching the area above my lips or god forbid, waxing it but I did get paranoid about the length of some of the peach fuzz above my lip and so it had to go. Now I'm obsessed with the thing. I decided it would be a good idea to do some maintenance on the eyebrows with this thing, b/c you know, tweezing isn't the most enjoyable activity. Cut to me quickly zipping off a 1/3 of my left eyebrow. Cue me realizing I now have to do the same to the right one in order to not look like a total circus freak. I was mortified. I went into work the next and quickly ran over to my friend Sabrina and let her access the situation...and all she did was laugh. Luckily it grew back. Lesson learned.