Back-handed Compliments

So, I must say that I have all these great things are happening in my life right now. I'm experiencing some success in my weight loss crusade. I'm not dieting, I'm changing my lifestyle. It's all about creating different eating and exercise habits. Thus far I am quite pleased with my progress, but I have to remind myself to stay the course, because this will be a long journey, not a sprint to the finish.

It's funny the things that people say when they notice you're shedding the lbs. I have to say my parents have been great cheerleaders, as have my friends and a few co-workers. For anyone out there who has tried to lose a significant amount of weight, they will tell you, nothing makes us feel better than for someone to notice our transformation. This is especially true for me, because I have a horrible perception of myself...always have. I don't suppose I've ever liked looking at my reflection in the mirror and I do it only when necessary. For most of my life, I have not been happy with my body, but I have mastered the ability to compartmentalize those thoughts, to a certain extent. Rarely will you hear me talking about my insecurities when it comes to my body or how I look. Trust me, I have more than my share, but I keep it bottled up, mainly for self preservation. It's been a struggle to talk about this chapter in my life, because I'm afraid of jinxing myself, but I DO talk about it, I make myself. I basically see this as a project. I'm rewiring my brain to think different, because I really think this too is necessary to reach my goals.

Ok, so that all sounds so serious. I mean, it's true but it's not all that dramatic. It is great though to hear people's compliments and observations about your progress, especially when they come from such stories as this...

This weekend I went at my parents and when I came in the house, mom was in the office printing out a picture. I go in there and ask what she's doing...dad said she's obsessed with printing pictures, she does it all the time. So I look down at this particular one and see this profile picture of some random woman with a weird looking neck.
"What's this?"

"Well this is a picture of a woman with this disease I thought you might have."

Ok, I'll bite...

The disease in question by the way is Cushing's Disease. Please take a moment and click on the link and pull up the picture labeled "buffalo hump." Mom realizes I'm puzzled by this as I read up on the symptoms. What exactly led you to this conclusion mom? She proceeds to tell me she was watching Discovery Health and they did a show on this disease and the neck example caught her eye.
Upon further inspection of my neck she is happy to tell me "I think you're fine. You used to have a big neck but it's getting smaller."
Good to know the weight loss is hitting those crucial areas, including the neck. Nothing worse than a fat neck.
*On a side note, does anyone know if they make the V-Chip for parents? If so, I would like to get a tv for my mom with one and program it to block any channel with the word "Discovery" in the title. Not only is mom a medical expert, but she's also a forensic specialist and the 2nd Dog Whisperer. I cannot tell you how funny it is to see her with their dog, who is dumber than a bag of hair (purebred), doing that "Shh-ing" thing Cesar does on the show.*

Later on in the weekend mom and I dragged my grandma out of the house to get some fresh air, have a little lunch and do some shopping. I was on a mission to get some shoes. My genes have blessed me with ski's for feet, so shopping for shoes is not much fun, which pisses me off because I already hate shopping for clothes, and to add insult to injury only myself and drag queens wear my size shoe (11). Seriously, when I lived in Athens I would see a lot of men in my aisle at Payless around the time for Boyboutante Ball.
Well to my delight, Rack-Room shoes had just what I was looking for, and they were on sale! Pleased with my discovery, I go to the register to pay, and the cashier, who I assume thought she was making pleasant afternoon chatter with me, says "You're lucky you found these. Girls with big feet like you have a hard time finding shoes. Oh and it's worse for you with those wide feet."
Seriously? You're saying this to me? I was dumbfounded. I said nothing, took out my card and handed it over. Me and my big ass clown feet had other places to go. It really is funny, because I can laugh at myself, but come on, did you think that sounded good in your head? The shoes in question are here. I would also like to point out that I do not have fat feet, the bones in my feet are spread way the hell out and I come from a long line of big footed Duggins's. My brother wears a men's size 16.

That about sums it up for now. Me and my slightly less-fat neck and huge feet are tired and need to go to bed!

Blah Blah Blog

I ask this in all seriousness. Is there a nice way to tell someone you do not want to talk to them anymore? Not to sound harsh but, you know a let's-face-it-we've-grown-apart-or-more-to-the-point-I've-grown-away-from-you? Not possible? Yeah, I didn't think so.

So Amber, Lesley and Jenny seem to think it's appropriate for women our age to watch 'The Hills.' I scoffed at the notion when we discussed this at Outback the other night. I was flipping channels one night after that and came across it, tried to watch, and kept cringing. It's not real! It's so awkward. The dark haired horse teeth girl that the main one lives with...good grief she's painful to watch. Sorry ladies, had to keep surfing past that.

Discussed...sounds so grown up, which we all are not. We were so loud at dinner the other night that the people around us sighed out loud in relief when we left, which of course we took as a compliment. That's one of the great things about us, and I love it. I love that Amber and I will pun anything to death and think it's hysterical. I love that things we did 10-15 years ago are still brought up in order to ridicule each other, but in a loving way of course.

Is it a sign of getting older when you purchase a "Finishing Touch" facial trimmer? Being blessed with blond hair I have never had to worry about bleaching the area above my lips or god forbid, waxing it but I did get paranoid about the length of some of the peach fuzz above my lip and so it had to go. Now I'm obsessed with the thing. I decided it would be a good idea to do some maintenance on the eyebrows with this thing, b/c you know, tweezing isn't the most enjoyable activity. Cut to me quickly zipping off a 1/3 of my left eyebrow. Cue me realizing I now have to do the same to the right one in order to not look like a total circus freak. I was mortified. I went into work the next and quickly ran over to my friend Sabrina and let her access the situation...and all she did was laugh. Luckily it grew back. Lesson learned.

I love summer tv!

I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't watch Big Brother.
Seriously, it's the best reality show ever...it's everything a reality show was meant to be, and more. I guess its appeal lies in the fact that it's all about how people deal with each other and what brings out the best...and the worst in them.
Not to mention, the editors of the show make it fun with their editing...cue the dramatic music when someone gets all emotional in the diary room.
I'm loving the twist this season with America's Player. I wasn't sure if Eric would be best suited for the job but I shouldn't have judged him so quickly...he was amazing last night with his first task. It was great tv.
But you probably don't know what I'm talking about b/c you don't watch. I pity you!

One for the scholars

Answer me this...why do people, who clearly do not like you/don't prefer your company, care if you speak to them or not in passing? As you've made it obvious with your behavior, it puzzles me why folks complain because you do not greet them with a hello when you see them. I don't intentionally not speak, but after being snubbed/treated poorly, it should not come as a surprise that speaking to you is not the first thing that comes to mind when our paths cross.

I dunno...just curious.

When did dairy become the enemy?

Isn't it funny how you fail to realize all the sweets and goodies around you until you decide to boycott them? I've taken on a little self maintenance and have willingly and easily given up sweets, amongst other things. I swear the minute I did this, we had a birthday cake or some desert every day at work. Ok, not everyday, but weekly and lots of them.

After nearly 2 months of this, and having passed on some chocolate creation from The Cheesecake Factory, I decided to treat myself with something cool-literally. I figured frozen yogurt wouldn't be too bad, they make sugar-free after all. Then I discovered the bastards at TCBY do not have any locations near work, so I was left with Dairy Queen or Brusters. After quickly ruling out DQ I did a little invesitgating on the website for Brusters. I was in luck! They have no sugar added ice-cream. I was set.

So, Sabrina and I go out during our lunch hour (which is 3pm...sounds odd, but we work 11-8. We hit the post office, then Brusters. The one we went to had all of 2 choices for 'no sugar-added' so I went with Caramel Squirl. One scoop, 220 calories...and it tasted decent. So I went on to enjoy my cool treat and then headed back into work.

Cut to 1 hour later.
So I'm sitting in my chair at work and my stomach starts gurgling...and contracting. :////
I'm like-what? I had a turkey sandwich for lunch, that can't have upset it. *THEN* it dawns on me...the ice-cream. Mind you, in the past two months, I've cut a lot of dairy out of my diet. I eat yogurt maybe twice a week, and a little bit of cheese occasionally...but that's it.
Needless to say, my bowels flushed that out all night and I wanted to die. I can't believe dairy turned on me so quickly. I mean, I ignore it for 2 months and now it wants to act like we never met! I've now become a part of what I used to ridicule and laugh at...the dreaded 'lactose intollerant' population.
Boo.

AHHHHH

I just returned from having 3 days off work. It was so relaxing! I was meant to go to Savannah but that fell through and honestly I could not be happier that it did. I got so much accomplished. After being at work 50-60 hours a week, I'm not the least bit motivated to get shit done and I had a lot to do.
What did I do with my time you ask?
1. Got my hair highlighted and trimmed. WAY OVERDUE. It was dull as dishwater. I left the salon feeling like a new woman. The gay men said my hair looked like Barbie-Doll hair...which I took as a compliment I suppose. Hell, it looked fake to me and it was attached to my head!
2. Got my eyebrows waxed. Also WAY OVERDUE. Plucking doesn't do it for me. I have all these blond hairs around my eyebrows that are hard to pluck b/c they're hard to see plus I just can't get the shape the way I want.
3. Got a pedicure. My poor feet have been neglected too long. I felt sorry for them so I treated them to a soak and some polish.
4. Returned stuff to Wal-Mart. I know what you're thinking-but listen...there are no Wal-Marts anywhere close to me at work or at home so I trip to Wal-Mart is that...a trip.
5. Rented 2 movies that I'd been wanting to see.
The Holiday -not impressed. The acting was crap and totally predictable plot.
Happy Feet-it was ok. I must be missing some chip in my brain b/c I did not think it was "Oh my gosh amazing!!" like I heard everyone say. I mean it was cute, but I think I've outgrown cartoons.
6. Went to Callaway Gardens. My parents and I went for the day and had a great time! We rented bikes and rode them around on some of the trails. The weather was amazing-perfection (better than gum). It was nice to spend some drama-free time with my parents.
7. Finally tried the world famous fried chicken at Watershed. It was good, but on the bone and I'm more of a boneless chicken fan. The food there is great though and I would recommend that place to anyone who likes food.
8. Bought new shoes. I've not had a new pair of trainers/athletic shoes in two years!

In the midst of all that I lounged around at my parents, relaxed, did laundry and just enjoyed myself. Sometimes I just go and go and go without stopping to realize that I've neglected things that I need and want to do.

4/12/07

You know how you're watching Dr. Phil or some cheesy talk show and there are families on there airing their dirty laundry for some television personality to fix all in under an hour? I mean you sit there and think Thank God that isn't me.
Now, I have no desire to air our dirty laundry, but I will say my extended family is going through quite a storm. I swear I never felt like an adult until I turned 30 and suddenly the world decided to part the clouds and dump a big pile of poo on me. Or maybe it's just that I wasn't mature enough to realize these issues/problems existed. Sometimes you can be so self-involved and not realize. Anyways, suffice it to say, now maybe I can extend the slightly bit of empathy towards those fools who talk about their problems on tv with some "professional." At least then you know there are others out there who have problems too.

I wish I had more exciting things to talk about, but I honestly do not. I've settled into a very comfortable work, home, do stuff, sleep routine. I'm planning on going on a little trip by myself next weekend, but we'll see if I actually do it. I really think just a few days out of the normal pattern would do a bit of good for this girl. Other than that, not much exciting on the horizon.